So here goes my first post. The site is far from ready, but I feel strongly about this post.
I was talking with a guy yesterday who was very down. It seems that for the last two years he has gone out and gotten his wife very nice Mother’s Day presents. He fixed her dinner both years, dinners that she requested, made sure the kids did something nice for her, and made the day about her, even banning the kids from the computer so they could spend time together. Yet both years, his wife barely thanked him. She gave him a little kiss, a little hug, and a quick thank you. She barely smiled, in general showed no emotion, no gratitude. Both of these gifts where things that she had asked for before, things she wanted and were surprises because it was not what he normally would do. She should have been delighted, if she was, she did not show it.
His basic question to me was, “Why go through all of this?” Why spend the extra time, money, and energy when the reaction she gave him was about the same as if he would have picked up some flowers at Walmart and brought home pizza. I would say, he asks a good question, one that many guys ask, “Why try when it gets me no where?”
I have talked to other guys and it is often the same. When many guys do something for their wives, they don’t get thanked, but get chided because it was not the same way as if the wife had done it or it was not as good as what her friend’s husband or boyfriend did. Now I understand that not doing things like she does can be a big deal sometimes, like washing color clothes in hot water and using bleach on them. I get that problem. But what I am talking about is when we clean the kitchen and do everything but forget to wipe the sink clean and wipe off the faucet and then get called on it. “Give me a break,” is what we will think, “I just saved you an hour of work and that is what I get? Why bother?” I had one friend who’s wife complained that in 18 years of marriage, he never brought her flowers. (A legitimate complaint IMO!) We pass out flowers one day at a Men’s Bible study, he takes it home and her response, “What did you do wrong that you are bringing me flowers?” You think he will ever take any home again?
Ladies, I could go on with may examples, but I hope the point has been illustrated. Here is what you need to do ladies. When your husband does something nice for you, acknowledge it. Tell him you really like it. Act enthusiastically about it. Don’t just say it once or twice, but remind him that you appreciate it a few times during the day. And yes, a very physical thank you after you two go to bed would certainly seal the deal, but it does not take that, it DOES take an enthusiastic thank you.
Bottom line ladies, if you want him to do nice things for you, you need to appreciate him when he does this. Would it hurt to give him a kiss that curled his toes? Would it hurt to hug him so hard that he can’t breathe? It would boost his ego and morale to hear you tell your friends how your hubby did something really nice for you. You would not believe what a difference it would make in his spirit and his willingness to do it again!
Rock His World and He Will Rock Yours in Return. Sounds like a Win – Win to me!