Tell Your Man How Much You Admire Him

I was looking though a website that I stumbled upon – Peacefulwife.com and I found this article “What do you admire about your Man” and I liked it.  It gave me the idea to write about the importance of telling your man, that you admire him.

We live in a world where all of us often feel like people are always on our back about show-appreciationsomething.  All day at work we here things like do this, do that, work harder, faster, better, and.  When we do good, we are expected to do even better the next day.

The bottom line is that we often feel  like no matter what we do it is never enough.  It is a shame when this follows us home.  A husband often feels the same way when they get home as they did at work.  We feels like our wife is often mad about something. Sometimes, we start to think that you really don’t like us, you are just tolerating us because you have to.  I have been there and it is a miserable way to live.

If you don’t want him to feel that you only tolerate him, if you want your husband to feel special to feel appreciated, admired then it is simple: TELL HIM!  It will make him feel great.  Tell him many different things you appreciateappreciation can make a day even change a life copy and admire about him, from being patient, to being a good provider.  Being a good father, husband, and lover. Being a good example and being good Christian man.  Tell all of this and anything else you can think of.  Build him up, let him know that you really do admire him.  You can do it all at once, you can do it one trait at a time, but it needs to be done often, it needs to be sincere, and it needs to be more than just words, put some actions with it. Actions can be anything from making his favorite desert to dressing up in something special for him.  Giving him a huge hug and kiss to making his favorite dinner.  Sending him texts during the day that encourage him.  Me? I love a nice massage, if you are interested I wrote a post last week entitled “The Ultimate Massage.”  You may want to give it a read.

It is my sincere hope that when you start expressing your admiration to him, that he will do the the same thing back for you!

Ultimate Massage

I love massages, most of the time I would rather give a massage than get one. (And no, hot-stone-massageI don’t turn everyone of them into an excuse for sex, although if that is how she wishes to tip me, who am I to argue.)  Following is what I would consider to be the ultimate massage.  I think almost every guy would enjoy it.

Let’s face it, most of the time when a guy gets a massage, he really gets in the mood to have sex.  After all the rubbing and stroking of his body get him excited and part of his brain is thinking, “I wonder if I will get a happy ending or not.”  Another part of him may be embarrassed that the signs of his arousal are so obvious and maybe a little worried if it is making his wife uncomfortable.  Sometimes we think, “She agreed to the massage, she did not agree to making love afterward and I want both.”  The problem with all of this is, this has the effect of distracting the man from the pleasure of the massage because he is wondering if he is going to get his happy ending.  (I know we should not be like this, but I am just being honest.)

So Here is My Solution: Start the massage with a happy beginning(Yep, that means what you think it means.) Start with him laying on his back and use whatever method you know he would like and allow him to orgasm at the start. (I would suggest something other than intercourse though – more on that later.) Allow him to get that release out of the way, that way he is not thinking about if it will happen, but rather enjoying the effects of just having orgasmed.

FUENTE_Hot_Stone_Massage_314From there, clean him up as needed, have him roll over and start giving him a regular massage. (If want to learn to give a better massage, youtube.com has several good tutorials) He will be relaxed because of his happy beginning and will probably be putty in your hands. Do a good job on him, spending a decent amount of time. (When I massage my wife, I try to spend about a half an hour working on her back and the same on her stomach – that is before I would start doing anything that would constitute an erotic massage, if she is up for it that night.)  Depending on many things, there is a good chance that he will fall asleep while you are working on him.

Turn him over and start on his front side. I suggest starting with the face, massaging the muscles there (a lot of tension starts in the face, the eyes and the jaw), then working down the torso, stop at the waist, go to the feet (as a runner, I really appreciate a good foot message) and work your way up.  Again, take your time, enjoy what you are doing, when you are enjoying it, it will be more enjoyable for him.  Give the hips and both inner and outer thighs a lot of attention.  Now when you get back to his crotch, give hit a nice rub, all over, that too can be very relaxing and enjoyable.

There are a couple of options here that can happen, in reality both are wonderful. If your man is plain wore out, there is a very good chance that he will just fall asleep.  If he does, let him sleep, it is likely that he will have about the best sleep he has had in a long time.  His muscles relaxed by your hands after you had relaxed another part of his body.  If this is the way the massage finishes, give yourself a pat on the back, say to yourself, “I done good!” and lay down next to him and fall asleep in the knowledge that you did a good job.  (You will probably wake to having the most grateful man in the world kissing your feet and offering to fix you breakfast or whatever you want.)  The other option is also nice for both of you also.  If, while you are massaging around his crotch, something comes up and announces to you that it is ready for more attention, take your time, with your message, encourage it, play with it however you want and when you are ready, climb on top of your husband and make love to him. (That is why I did not recommend his first orgasm to be achieved through intercourse, but you certainly would know what would be best for your man, not me.) Match your moods to each other, knowing that since he has already had one orgasm that night it will probably take a bit for the second one to happen.  When all of this happens, I can almost guarantee you that you will have the happiest man in the world in  bed with you.  He will probably be wondering whatever did he do to get so lucky and to deserve such a wonderful wife.

One word of caution, when he has that second orgasm, after all you have done to massage him after the first orgasm, he is probably going to be like jelly and will sleep so soundly that nothing will wake him that night.  Don’t expect a long cuddling afterglow after this night, but know that you have given him a gift beyond any price.

I can virtually guarantee that you will put a smile on his face that will last for days.  I wonder if I can talk Mrs. Jed into one of these tonight.  Sounds like a great idea to me.

A Couple Things to Consider:

Make sure the room temperature is pleasant.  You don’t want him shivering from the cold or sweating from the heat.
Use oil for the massage. Although you can buy massage oils, they can be pricey.  We have used both olive oil and coconut oil.  Both are easily found and both seem to be save to use a lubricant for intercourse.  Baby oil may not be a good choice, in my research there was some indications it might not be good to use for intercourse.
Make sure the oil is warmed up to about 100 degrees, either too hot or too cold is not fun.
– Set the mood with his favorite music, soft lighting, candles, whatever you think would make a nice setting for you both.
– Another thing, the less you wear the better. For one you don’t want to get oil on something and ruin it. Another thing, let’s face it, he will love feeling your bare skin against his during the massage and he gets to see your body, something he probably never gets enough of.  Also, it makes it that much easier for you to crawl on top of him at the end if you don’t have to take anything off.

How To Deal With Poor Hygiene: A Wife’s Guide To Getting Hubby Clean

smelly-_tjbqI know this will not apply to all guys, since I know some guys that shower multiple times a day, but I know some that, well shall we say need to shower more.  I know that most of the time, the thought of making love to a man who is grimy and smelly is very appealing (I will  mention this in though, my wife hates to sweat, but when she does, I often find it desirable, I love to lick her neck and have that salty taste from a little sweat, I find it almost intoxicating.  In fairness though, she does not have a strong BO scent then, if she did, I don’t think it would desirable.)     Here are a few things that may work and you may not have to say a wordHow how do you deal with a smelly husband? either.  After all actions do speak louder than words.

If he gets amorous with you when he is less than fresh, tell him you want to do contemporary-showerssomething special.  Grab him by the hand and take him to the shower, get both of you naked (you may want to give him a little show) and go into the shower and use the soap & shampoo as a source of fun, foreplay and cleaning.  You could either give him a happy ending in the shower or whisk him off to bed where you could get down to some seriously clean fun.

Another trick, if you don’t want to get too wet yourself, join him in the bath room just as he is coming out of the shower.  Help dry him off and kiss and lick him all over.  Spend some extra time kissing, licking, and anything else that comes to mind to his genitals and tell him with a big smile, how much you love how he tastes and smells when he comes out of the shower.

If you make it a reward for him to be clean when he comes to bed, I bet he will come to bed clean a lot more often.  It probably will not take him too long to get the correlation between good hygiene and getting his world rocked by you.

Simple? Really it is.  Most of us are much more easily motivated by positive reinforcement than we ever are by negative consequences.  If you are a little shy about the suggestions above, then just flat out tell him, you are more likely to Rock His World when he is clean than you are when he is not.

What Dads Really Want

I know, it is a little late for this.  Sorry, it has been a busy week and I almost missed the fact that tomorrow is Father’s Day.  I started thinking about what I would really like for Father’s Day and then started thinking about what most dads would want for Father’s Day and this is what I cam up with.

Dads want to be respected.  Dads often feel like what they do for the family gets Respect-e1364325953688forgotten.  They sometimes feel like the family does not appreciate the long hours, the hassles, and the garbage that takes place in most jobs, yet dads have to put up with this because that is what dads do.

Dads don’t expect to be kings, ruling with impunity, but they do want their wife and their children to appreciate the sacrifices that they have to make.  Working long hours is not fun and most dads do it because they have to.  They don’t like missing the special things in the kids life like games and recitals.  They are as sadder about that (in most cases) than the kids are.

What does respect look like? Well I am sure it will mean different things to different men, but it comes down to a few things. – Be happy to see him when he is around.  – Show him affection, smiles, hugs and kiss speak a special language. – Don’t treat him like one of the kids, treat him like a man. – Give his thoughts and ideas careful consideration, never dismiss them out of hand.  – Don’t make him look bad in front of others.  – Make time for him when he asks, but respect his need for alone time when he asks for it.  – Help the kids to enjoy their dad, yet also learn when it is time to give dad a break.

If you can give those things to the dad in your life, it will make his day and make the kiss-291long hours he puts in for his family worth it.  That will Rock His World!

If you want to make his day extra special.  When you go to bed on Father’s day, give him a reminder of just how he became a father in the first place.  That also will Rock His World.

Yes, You are Beautiful to Him!

I know, you probably don’t think you are that attractive.  You wonder what he sees in

Beauty at any Age

Beauty at any Age

you.  Why would he want to look at you?  Let’s face it, most of us (men and women) don’t think we are all that attractive. If you are over 30, you probably don’t think you look as good as you used to.  Want to know a secret, I am willing to be a Starbucks Venti, (sorry, I am not a big gambler) that he loves the way you look and finds you as desirable now as the day he married you.  There are a couple of reasons for that, which I would like to share with you:

The first reason is quite simple – He loves you.  He married you and part of the reason that he married you is that he found you attractive.  As you have aged, you have most likely grown even more attractive.  You see, as we men get older our tastes in women mature.  We may still notice 20 year old women, but they do not hold the same thrill that they once did.

The second reason is profound – There is no substitute for those years that you have spent together. That time of growing closer, that richness and maturity of love.  The knowledge that you have given yourself to one other during the years of marriage also increases attraction.  When I look at my wife I see a woman who not only has spent the last 25+ years with me, but also the woman who carried our children in her body, who nursed them at her breasts, who stayed up or got up many nights to take care of sick kids so I could sleep and go to work the next day.  The age that I see on my wife’s face are signs of love and they are marks of beauty. They make her more attractive to me than any other woman in the world.

Who can deny this beauty

Who can deny this beauty

Another thing that is important to remember is men all have different tastes when it comes to what attracts us in women.  To be perfectly honest, many of the actresses and models out there that I see on TV and the net that are very popular mystify me.  I don’t understand why they are so popular, why people go gaga over them.  In many of those cases, I personally know dozens of women who are much prettier than than these supposed beauties.  (Yes, I rank my wife at the top of all of those lists.  First of all she is beautiful, second I love her and that would put her to the top no matter what.) Chances are if you got a dozen men together and asked them to rank 10 women prettiest to least pretty, you would find those lists quite a bit different.  Some guys like super fit, in shape women, some find that type disgusting and they want a curry woman.  For the record, I love gray hair and I can’t wait for my wife to get more gray hair. She is in her forties only has a handful.  I hope I can keep her from ever dying her hair. 

A Smile that could melt any room.

A Smile that could melt any room.

Never, ever underestimate the power of a smile – one that starts in the eyes and lightsup the whole face or the power of a twinkle in your eyes.  In reality, personality will almost always trump everything, except love.

Remember this, when you truly love each other, when you are actively showing that love to one another, your husband will look at you through the eyes of love and you will be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. 

Ladies one last piece of advice: When your husband tells you, you are beautiful.  Don’t argue with him, accept it as a gift from him.  Don’t worry if he is saying it because it is true, or because it is out of love, or because he wants to flatter you, just accept the compliment.  If he thinks enough of you to say, don’t argue with him.  If you argue with him too much about it, he may stop saying it.

Author’s Note: I just read a wonderful post by Catherine of Passion8Freedom about ladies and body image.  I would recommend that you click on the link and go give it a read also.  Thank you Catherine for writing a wonderful article! Power of Our Thoughts

Loving Kisses

lipstick_kissI like to talk about loving kisses a lot.  I believe that if you really want to make your spouse happy, you need to give them a lot of loving kisses.  You should give them these kisses in the morning, at night, and any time in you see each other between morning and night.  Loving kisses are kisses that communicate love to each other.

Before I describe my idea of a loving kiss, let me give you a few examples of what a loving kiss is not.  A loving kiss is not any of the following:

  • A kiss so quick that you are not really sure that you touched lips or not.
  • A kiss given only so you can get away from your spouse.
  • A kiss given in anger.
  • A kiss where 99% of your attention is focused on something else.

Let’s face it, we have all had kisses like that and we have all given them.  The problem is they all ring hollow in expressing feelings.  If you get one like that, you probably thought at the time, “What was the point?”

What is a loving kiss? First of all, there are many types of loving kisses, not just one. I know that everyone will have their own definition of what constitutes a loving kiss is.  I am going to list some of mine, if I missed one of yours, please share it in the comments section, you might inspire the rest of us to add a new kiss or two.

Here’s what I think are loving kisses:

  • Kisses that take at least 3 seconds.  (I know it is not long, but let’s face it, we don’t kiss-291always have time for 30 second or longer kisses.)
  • Kisses that involve hugs.
  • Kisses that involve other touches, such as rubbing his cheek with you hand or hold hands or playing with hair.
  • Kisses with the lips open, maybe even sucking a little on each others lips.
  • A kiss where all your attention is focused on the kiss that you are giving your spouse.
  • Of course the stand-bye French kiss.
  • Ultimately, it is any type of kiss that your mate loves to receive. (Personally, I am partial to kisses where our mouths are slightly open and we lightly such on each other’s lips.)

There is another type of kiss that is not a loving kiss; that is any kiss that makes your spouse feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.  That could involve any of the following:

  • Open mouth kissing in places or settings where it would not be appropriate, such as a business meeting or at family friendly event.
  • A kiss that is given for a selfish or manipulative reason.
  • A kiss given from someone who has poor hygiene – either bad breath or body odor.
  • Also any type of kiss that your spouse does not like. (I love to put chocolate in my mouth and kiss my wife when it starts to melt, putting the chocolate in her mouth, she hates that.  I don’t even think about that one anymore, because I want to please her.)

A loving kiss is simply that, it is a sign of love, a sign of caring, a way of showing your love to the one that you do love.  Life is short, give up on the kisses that don’t show love and start giving only loving kisses.  The benefits will far out weigh the rewards!

Kiss-4dd68eb7ceb60