Help Him Remain Faithful

First, no man (or woman) ever has an excuse to cheat.  I don’t care what all is going31525_20130531_181922_relationship_09 on, you made a promise when you got married to be faithful and true to your spouse and you need to do that.

Having said that there is no excuse for cheating, I believe that there are things that wives can do to help their husband keep from cheating.  The following things are all common sense, but I am afraid sometimes that when we get busy doing all that we have to do in our lives we often forget our common sense.  I think often times it is important to remind each other about common sense things and help each other to follow our common sense.

he_is_mine___collab____complete__by_shadxth-d5q6jz1Make Sure He Knows that You Love Him:  Remember that each of us have one or two love languages that are really important to us.  For most men, physical – err – sexual touch is one of those.  Make sure that you are showing him sexually that you love him.  (I know some ladies get tired of hearing that, but it really is a big thing for most guys and if it is for your guy, make sure you don’t neglect it.)  You don’t want some other woman’s advance to have a greater chance of success simply, because he has not been sexually satisfied at home lately, do you?

Show Him You are Grateful He is Your Husband:  Men like to know that their families appreciate all that they do to support them.  Many men work long hours, sometimes doing jobs that they really hate; because that is the only way they can support their family.  It gets real lonely doing that if all they get at home is an attitude that says either, “Why should I thank you, that is what you are supposed to do,” or “You need to do more, you are not taking good enough care of me/us.”  Yes, that is what men should do, we should sacrifice to take care of our family and sometimes we need to do more, but that does not mean that we don’t deserve to be thanked for what we are doing.  A little gratitude goes a long way.

Do Not Make Him Feel Inferior:  No guy wants to be constantly compared to your friend’s husbands, especially if his wife is always talking about how great so-and-so is.  Instead, find things to brag on your husband about.  Let them know that you think some of the things that he does are great.  Brag on him, especially in front of him sometimes.  It could be anything from what a great job he did cooking on the grill the other night to how he did a great job getting you that special something you wanted.  It will make him feel like a million bucks.

Pray for Him to Be Faithful:  Let him know that you are praying for him, not that you don’t Prayertrust him, but because you know that there are women out there who would swoop in to grab a great guy like him.  He knows that sometimes he is more vulnerable than others and he will appreciate that you are praying for him.  Most guys want to stay true and will take all the help they can get to do just that.

Some Special Treatment: There are a few other things that you could do from time to time that would also let your husband know that he is special.  Try giving him an Ultimate Massage a few times a year.  If you want some tips on doing that, check my post about the Ultimate Massage. Another thing, is to make sure when you kiss him, you communicate your love to him.  Kissing can become routine, instead make sure you are giving him several loving kisses during the day.  Check my post about Loving Kisses for some ideas.  Some other things, do something different every now and then, do something he would enjoy, it does not matter what it is, but it shows him you love him.  Some ideas could be, watch some guy thing with him, like football, by his favorite ice cream, join him in the shower sometime, send the kids away from the night and tell him you are all his for the night, most importantly, you know your husband better than anyone, use your knowledge, imagination, and love for him, with that for your guide, you can’t go wrong.

There Are Certain Times That Make These Actions Even More Critical:  I know in my own life that there are times that I worry much more about straying than other times. (No, I never have strayed and I promise and pray that I never will!)  The time that scares me the most is when I travel. Being in a strange place, where few, if anyone knows me can cause me to think, “If I did stray, who would know?”  I know, God would know, and who knows what type of problems would result from that infidelity, but being honest, it is a temptation.

Another place that was a little uncomfortable for me is when I take my kids to places where there are more moms than dads.  For example, I took my daughter to the Children’s Museum, the adult male to female count was about 4 moms for every guy there and if you took away the men who were there with their wife, it was much, much higher, like I was the only guy there with my kid without a wife along.  It seemed to me that some of these ladies were a little more friendly than I thought they would be.  I don’t know if they were just impressed because I was there by myself with my daughter and were being encouraging or they were lonely, bored, jealous, or just enjoyed being a little flirtatious. I was a little nervous.

In each of these situations; I am glad to know my wife loves me. She is especially helpful Six-ways-to-stop-nagging-your-partner-300-1when I am going out of town, she finds some extra time and energy to demonstrate to me that I never want anyone else.  I am grateful for that.  I don’t want to face any of those temptations when I am weak.  (Hey, I don’t want to face them at all, but I know I can’t avoid them all.)  I know it is easier to deal with temptation knowing that I have a loving wife waiting for me.  If I thought she hated me, was mad at me, or even just indifferent, it would be harder to fight the temptation. (Again, it would not be an excuse.  I would be wrong.  For me In the end, it is the thought of how much it would hurt my wife, my kids, and how it would hurt my witness, that keeps me from ever cheating.  I have seen families and churches hurt by cheating.  I pray I never add to it.)

Ladies, please do what you can to make sure your husband knows that you are lips blown kissthere for him and that you want him, all of him, and that you are going to do what you can to make sure he knows all of this.  Sometimes men get doubts, they start to wonder if their wife still really loves them, if their wife still cares about them as she once did.  If you love him, you want him to know that, for him to know, you have to express that to him and probably express that in many ways, and do it often.  Chances are you want him to do the same thing to you, so show him how it is done! (Any guys reading this, Take Note:  Let your wife know you love her as often as you can, in as many ways as you can, and in a way that speaks to her!)

I know that post is longer than I wish it was, but I know it is very important.  It really can make all the difference in the world. Call these actions insurance, extra protection, whatever you want, but in the end they will help your you and help your husband to be happier and to have a stronger marriage.  Sounds like winning situation for both of you!  Hopefully you both will have fun doing all of these suggestions!

Biblical Submission: There is More than You Think!

I see a lot of Marriage Sites on the net that talk about biblical submission.  I want you to shooesknow that I believe in the concept and the practice of biblical submission, I think it is the best way for a family to function. However, in most of what I see about biblical submission, I do not see what I believe the Bible really teaches about biblical submission.  I would like to look at this passage and explain what I think most people miss when it comes to the concept of biblical submission.

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands – Eph. 5:21-24 (Verses 25-33 will follow) [New Living Translation]

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Some Observations about this Passage:

  • Note: This command is for the wives, it is calling for wives to do this.  It does not say, Husbands, make your wife submit.
    • If a wife will not submit, it is ultimately between her and the Lord.
    • Husbands may suggest this is what his wife should do, but he should never try to force her.
  • Ladies, when you submit to your husband, it should be out of your love for the Lord, out of your desire to please God.  Yes, it will probably please your husband, but is ultimately part of your relationship and trust in the Lord that causes you to do this.
  • Notice that there is a certain amount of mutual submission involved here.  However, V. 21 is a general statement and V. 22 is a specific statement and in good interpretation, general statements are modified and refined by specific statements.  In other words, although there is a certain amount of mutual submission, there is greater degree put on the wives than the husbands. (Ladies, please stay with me on this one, read to the end before you get annoyed with me.)

Now for the Part that Seems to Get Skipped:

Eph. 5:25-33 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Some Observations about this Passage:

  • This passage is written to husband, it tells then what they should do.  Notice through 111589385_2FlwNCje_cout the passage, it tells the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial way.
  • V. 25 – Love your wife as Christ loved the church – How did Jesus ultimately show His love the church? He died to establish it. – Wow, are most husbands doing that?
  • V. 28 – Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. – Again, are husbands really loving their wife as much as they love them self?
  • In reality, what God is commanding the husband to do is to love their wife more than he loves himself.
  • Anytime a husband uses the concept of submission to treat his wife in an unloving way, he is wrong.
  • A husband must put his wife’s needs above his own needs.

Some Conclusions:

  • Anytime that a wife is not submitting to her husband, the husband needs to first ask himself, “Am I loving my wife as Christ loved the church?” If husband answers, “No.” then he needs to work on his part and not worry about her part.
  • Look how this all works together: When a man loves his wife so much that he is truly couple-talkingputting her needs above his own needs, then she would have not have to worry about submitting to him because the husband would never do anything to harm his wife.
  • A husband cannot really love his wife if he does not do the following:
    • Talk to his wife, see what she thinks of each and every situation going on which effects the family.
    • He must put her needs above his own needs and do, not what he wants, but what is best for his wife and family.
  • Husbands also need to be reminded, that the position that they are placed in is not really that of a privilege, but more of a responsibility.

Final thoughts:

  • This passage is one of the most miss-used, abused, and misunderstood passages in the Bible:
    • It has been miss-used by men (in the church) to put women in a second class status.
    • It has been used by feminists and others to show that Christianity is unjust and even invalid.
  • If the church will teach the truth of this passage and the totality of this passage instead of just part of it, it will become a passage that does create conflict (or at least as much conflict) and instead creates harmony and closeness.  While it might not solve all problems people have with this passage, it will go along way towards understanding what God really desires in marriage.

Make Him Think About You All Day Long: The Art of Flirting & Anticipation

Do you want to keep him thinking about you all day long?  I know I love that feeling, when my wife is teasing me, making me think about her.  It makes the day longer and shorter at the same time.  On the days that she flirts or teases me, I can’t wait to get home and push her against the wall and kiss her like I mean it! The rest will probably have to wait until the kids are in bed, etc., but anticipation gets my blood racing turns a fun day into a flirty evening, ending in a passionate night.

Here are some ways to do it:

Just as you are get ready to say goodbye in the morning, give him your biggest, RomanceCouple-240most enthusiastic kiss.  Make it long and sensual, hold him tight, maybe even grab his butt and grind into his body as you kiss him.  You could whisper something in his ear like, “That is just a sample of what I have planed for tonight.”  For an extra nice touch be wearing some red lipstick.  You might mention to him that he might need to get clean his lips off before he gets to work.

Send him some flirty, suggestive texts through the day: Start slow and with each text build a little more excitement. (BTW – I am fan of flirty texts, but I worry about actual sexting, it seems from time to time these private messages become public. I would rather not take the chance.)  Use little codes that only you and he would know.  Some things you can tell him: How much you love him. How happy you are that you are married to him. How you love how excited he makes you feel sometimes. How much you crave and want him. How you plan to show him how much you love him that night. You could remind him of one of your past exciting nights, such as, “Remember that night in FL when we celebrated our anniversary… I think you get the point.

Send him a picture of you that is flirty: Like with texting, I don’t suggest anything that 554072_2925582374173_1209709768_nis too sexual, something that you are afraid that your mom or kids will see one day. However, there are a lot of great ways to send a picture that will fire up his imagination and cause him to have his mind on you all day. I think this picture is a good example of what you can do in a picture and drive him wild.  With a picture like that one, he will be in a daze all day.  The eyes and the smile communicate volumes.

Wear some sexy underwear: Make sure he knows what you are wearing all day.  You could flash him in the morning before he goes to work.  You could just leave it out on 6787639773_bfdcb897a4_nthe bed while you are in the shower so he would see it and know you were going to wear it.  A phone call to let him know at lunch, “Honey, you know that matching purple bra and panty set you like so much?  Well, I am wearing right now and thinking of you.”  He may drop the phone.  If there is a way you can see him during the day and flash him there without embarrassing either of you or endangering jobs or reputations, that is also wonderful.

Want to do something at dinner (or lunch) to Rock His World:  At lunch or dinner, after you both order, excuse yourself to the ladies room, remover your underwear, walk back to the table and discreetly hand them to him.  You don’t need to say anything, just smile.  Wait until you have ordered or he may just want to skip the meal and take you home right then.

Other ways to tease him: 

  • Dress in clothes that you know he likes seeing you in, ones that you know he finds Thigh-high-lace-top-sheer-stockingenticing.
  • Get some thigh high stockings to wear, Let him see the tops. (You might want to consider leaving them on all night, I like it when my wife does.)
  • Fix yourself up nicer than you normally do.  He will notice the effort and appreciate it.
  • Have something delivered to him at work, something he will understand but won’t embarrass him or you.  (However, guys love it when others know that their wife is doing something special for him.)
  • When you are with him, touch him as much as you can, but make them little touches, touch his arm, his legs, his chest, kissing his cheek, it will build more anticipation.
  • Stare into his eyes, smile those wonderful mischievous flirty smiles that you used to smile at him when you were dating. You know the ones where your eyes are smiling as much as your lips are.

If you do more than a couple of the above ideas, your man will love it, and will love the effort that you are putting out for him.  He will feel like a million bucks and I can almost guarantee that he will do his best to make you feel like a million buck right back at you.

That is one of the nice things about Rockin’ His World, normally he will Rock Your World right back at you!