Better than Halloween!

I have never been a big fan of Halloween.  I don’t like that it is a holiday that glorifies evil and it seems like the adult Halloween parties are just an excuse to get drunk & hook up.

I would ask you to remember two things today:

1) God is BIGGER than the boogie man!! (Thank you VeggieTales)

2) See the picture bellow!

Picture1However, if you are going to celebrate Halloween, I would suggest two things:

  1. Promote God’s Power & Love in how you celebrate it.
  2. Use it as an excuse to Rock Your Husbands world – That will be a great Treat for Both of You!!

Is Sex Important to a Marriage.

RomanceCouple-240When I work on Rock His World, I feel sometimes like I spend a lot of time writing about the sexual dynamic of marriages.  I think, “Do I really need to spend so much time writing about the sexual aspect of marriage?”  After all, there is a lot more to marriage than sex and much of it is very important.  However, as I spend time talking with men, many of them faithful Christians, or I look around the net, I find that there are many Christians who are struggling with the sexual side of marriage.

969100_412367675540821_1019760124_nIt amazes me that an act that takes a relatively short time out of our day can bring so much stress to a relationship and that same act can also bring so much joy!  I believe that an investment of 15 to 30 minutes, 2 – 4 times a week, can make huge changes in a marriage.  To emphasize that point, I wonder how many wives would ignore their husbands if he were to come in and say, “Honey, we need to talk about something.” I suspect that most women would drop everything give that conversation their full attention, because they would see it as important and would be more than a little miffed with their husband if he did not give her the time she needed when she said, “Honey, we need to talk.”  It seems ironic tragic to me that wives will gladly give time to talk, but can’t seem to find time to make love to said husband.  Just as talking is important to you, so sex is to him.

I have to admit in my own marriage that at various times sex has been a struggle for us.  There are times sex binds us together and times that it drives a wedge between us.  I can say this, that when things are going well for us sexually, I feel empowered, I feel loved, I feel that we can face problems more unified than when we are struggling sexually.  This feeling of empowerment helps me in every area of my life, my family life, my job, my spiritual life, even my golf game or my running.

I wish I could say that sex is not a big thing and that I did not feel led to write about it as I do.  But the truth is, for almost all marriages sex is important. (I guess that there may be a few, probably very few, marriages were neither spouse cares about ever having sex and that for them it is not an issue.)  Outside of those rare instances, sex is  important to at least one of the people involved.  The research I have done seems to indicate that in about 2/3s of marriages it is the husband that has the higher sex drive, and in about 1/3 of marriages it is the wives who have the higher sex drive.

The-seduction-of-mysteryEvery marriage is different and how much sex means in each marriage is hard to determine. I would caution anyone to not write sex off as being unimportant. Don’t make the mistake of saying, “My marriage is the exception.”  If you are thinking that sit down with your spouse and have a lot of honest discussions about sex.  Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of believing that because your spouse is not asking you for sex, that everything is okay sexually and that they are no issues. If he or she has been rejected enough times, they will withdraw, because it is easier to deal with sexual frustration that dealing with sexual frustration and being rejected.  When you talk allow each other to express wants and needs without judging each other or getting mad about the truth.  You may not like what you hear in these honest discussions, but you need to hear it.  Don’t get mad at what you hear, instead, ask what you can do about the problem and then try to fix it.  If you are the low drive spouse in the family, please don’t make the mistake of thinking that because sex is not important to you that it is not important to your spouse or think that adding sex once more a month is going to solve the problem.

I believe there is a tendency for the high drive spouse to feel pressure to hide their true feelings about sex in their marriage. They are afraid that if they admit that sex is important to them that their low drive spouse will view them as a sex fiend, a perv, and shallow because they think sex is important.  There are a lot of men and women out there for whom sex is an important act and if it is not a regular part of their marriage, they feel like they are not truly loved, not truly fulfilled.

Different people have different reasons for why they feel that sex is so important.  It really does not matter why they think it is important, the fact that it is important to one of you, should make it become important to both of you.  That is what marriage is all about, caring for each other, loving each other, and meeting each other’s needs.  Besides, remember, sex can also be a whole lot of fun, when we let ourselves go, and let ourselves remember it’s okay to enjoy it with our spouses.

Make Out Monday: Country Flair

I would describe my musical tastes as eclectic. There are a lot of different types of music I enjoy, everything from Jazz to Hard Rock, Country to Classical, with a heavy dose of Christian music in the middle.

For this week’s Make Out Monday Videos, I was in the mood for a little country, hope you enjoy this week’s edition.

Faith Hill – Breathe

Blake Shelton – God Gave Me You

Making the Most of the Time You Have

large_housework1_040508Husbands, believe it or not, can be a very understanding. We know that our wives are very busy.  The have a lot of responsibilities, which include, taking care of the house and the kids, probably volunteering for some organization, responsibilities at church, and in many cases, working outside the home also.

We understand that our wives are busy and that they are tired, sometimes (maybe even most of the time) to the point of being exhausted. We know that when you are like, there is not a lot of time for us and that you don’t have the energy to think about making love to us.  We may not like that you have no time for us, we don’t like it, but we get it, we understand that sometimes there is nothing left for us.  We tend to not get upset about it, because we know how life is.

There are however a couple of things that really do bother most guys, chances are that your husband is dealing with this.  I think it is important for you to know, what bothers us, it is even more important for you to be working on a solution to fix these problems:

Design background elementProblem One: Why Don’t You Make More Time for Us? We understand that there are many important things in your life.  We know that we can always be your number one priority, but it seems far too often that we are not even in the top ten of your priorities.  Maybe you think we are tough and therefore we can roll with the punches and we are okay with not being in the top ten.  Most of us can deal with that for a short time, but when we feel like we are never in the top 10 and you never seem to try to change that, well we don’t like it!  We believe that if we are really important to you, you would find a way to put us in the top ten.  When you don’t we start to believe that we really don’t matter much to you.

120404061904-couple-bed-woman-ignoring-man-story-topProblem Two: There are Nights when you are not so busy and tired, yet you don’t seem interesting in us on those nights.  We understand that many days you are worn out from all that you do.  What bothers us is, when there is a night where you are not too busy, not too tired, and you want to take up you time with things that do not involve us.  We even know that sometimes that you just need some time to yourself.  However, if for the past five nights you have had free, you have not made us a significant part of that time any of those night, it is hard for us to take.

Here are some of the things I hear from guys that their wives do instead of spending time with them. I am not talking about doing this for just an hour or two, but I know wives that spend literally from 7:00 or 8:00 until after midnight on one or more of these.  If it was just an hour or two, we would not complain, probably even enjoy it, because we know you need to unwind some and it would give us some time to unwind.

  • The computer, doing anything from FB to solitaire.
  • Playing with the pets.
  • On the phone with friends.
  • Games, either computer, video, card, or on paper like a crossword puzzle.
  • TV or Movies.
  • Hobbies.
  • Let’s not forget “Ladies’ Night Out.”

We don’t want to take away your fun, we don’t want to take away your enjoyment, and we just want to be part of that fun and enjoyment.  We want to think that spending time with us will make you happy, that it will be fun, that we can help relax you.  We know you make us happy, make us feel good, and we want to not only be with you, but we want to make you feel better.

Ladies, if you want to keep your marriage strong, if you want it to weather the test of time, if you want it to ride out the storms of life so that you can sail into the sunset happily with your husband, then you need to do your part to make it ship-shape.  You need to make him a priority in your marriage most of the time and you need to spend at least half of your down time with him.

Make Out Monday: Jokers Wild

For the Make Out Monday Videos, I always try to pick songs that set either a romantic, flirty, or sensual mood, hoping that I inspire you to create that mood with your husband tonight and a as often as possible.  I am not sure which category these songs fall into, but I have to say they are ones that every time I listen to them, I want to find my wife and lay a huge hug and kiss on her and hold her tight as we listen to these songs.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Eric Carmen – Make Me Loose Control (BTW-In case you did not know, those great background harmonies, provided by the Beach Boys.)

Roberta Flack & Maxi Priest – Set the Night to Music

Weekly Picks: 10/18/13

around-the-worldAnother Installment of what I found on the net this week that I think is worth your time to read.  There are a lot of great marriage bloggers out there and I am grateful to learn from them.