Do Some Exploring Together.

Romantic KissesEach of us have spots that make us tingle with joy.  Sometimes it is the light feathery touch of a finger that brings that tingle, other times, other spots it is the firmer touch of the fingers, or whole hand that brings that same pleasure.  Other times, other parts of the body bring out those shivers, smiles, and sighs.  Sometimes, it’s the lips that do the trick, sometimes the tongue, sometimes eyelashes, sometimes teeth, and of course the possibilities are almost endless.

I believe that happy, healthy couples learn where those spots are on each other.  They have taken the time to explore each other, they have taken the time to experiment, they have learned how to make each other happy and they take much joy in doing that.

I think it is important for you and your husband to spend time learning each other’s pleasure spots.  It is important that you do this together, that you learn his spots and that you let him learn yours. Spend time playing together, spend time talking, and learn together.

Almost every guy I know, wants to know those spots on his wife.  Husbands, at least the vast majority, want to able to make their wives very happy in bed.  They get as muchWomen pleasure, in many case more pleasure bring their wife pleasure than they do their own.  So it is important that you let him learn your pleasure spots.  Teach him, he wants to learn.  Teach him, that it is not formula, that it is not 3 minutes here, 5 minutes there, and then an explosion.  Teach him that it takes time, that it takes variety, that what blew your socks off last week, may not do the same thing this week, yet it may bring about an even greater explosion next week.  Teach him what he wants to learn, what he needs to learn.  He will be grateful.  But also, learn what you can about him.

No matter where you are in your relationship, there is still more that you can learn about each other.  I am willing to bet that you more learn about each other physically the closer you will grown to each other in all areas.  Sometimes the first time you try something, one of you may not enjoy it that much, however, the next time, you may both love it.  However, always be sensitive to each other’s limits – we all have them and that is a good thing.

Something that is fun to do, when you know the spots that effect him, discretely touch one of those spots while you are at dinner or at a BBQ, it will have him thinking about you and smiling the rest of the evening.


9 thoughts on “Do Some Exploring Together.

  1. hahaha – yeah, I used to be able to work out, clean the house, prepare the menu for the week, and do all the marketing for said menu. Well, I can still do them all, I just finish at 4 rather than 1pm.

    The cheesecake metaphor is ongoing. And perhaps I’ll do another post that digs in more – I covered it briefly in on called, ‘marriage isn’t a snackin cake’ (or something like that). Anyway, there’s lot’s of nuances that go into a cheesecake; lots of soul – the better you bring in with ingredients, the better the results. I guess it could go for any type of cake, but my speciality is the cheesecake so my metaphors relate.

    • I would say that I love cheesecake, but I am afraid to say that now. Don’t want it get misunderstood in light of some of these threads 🙂

      I really need to write about aging and caring for the body. In short I think there are things we can do to help make the aging process not be as bad or at least not hit as soon. No, it has nothing to do with that little blue pill.

      • Darrell and I just got back from our evening walk. Actually, it’s our second evening walk – we took the dogs first then left them home and went alone. We were chatting about exactly that thing RHW. He’s 50 and I’m 48. We both go to the gym every day and walk every night (double or triple it on weekends sometimes) We went to the West Edmonton Mall yesterday – HUGE mall. Google it if you’ve never been, it’s quite spectacular. We went yesterday to cruise around the mall and then ended up at one of the Starbucks studying Song of Songs. Anyway, a post would be a great idea.

        No misunderstandings – we love cheesecake and sex AND the metaphors!! 😉

    • So, at social gatherings you tend to do the obligatory mixing but mostly sit back at observe the various dynamics? You surprise people with the things you remember and the detail within those memories? In groups, you listen more and talk less unless passionate about the topic? N’est–ce pas?

  2. Particularly with age those spots can change and old ones change as to their sensitivity and response. It is important to not dismiss something too quickly because we are not immediately comfortable with it or feel clumsy. For women, and some men, I always liken it to cooking a new recipe. The execution may be lacking somewhat the first time around, but it will possibly get better with each new attempt. You won’t know until you make those repeated attempts. Men seem to be more willing to experiment than women so I usually don’t worry about their willingness to follow through.

    • Good metaphor BD. I often liken sex to baking cheesecakes. But the new recipe idea works too! Also, it might not be a problem with execution at all, it could be something from outside sources, such as atmospheric pressure.

      • The mind races with possible bawdy (there’s a word you don’t often see) responses, but since it’s you, warrior of light, I’m not going there. I have a reputation to uphold. or live down, depending on to whom you talk. My English teacher would be so proud of that last clause. I actually learned more grammar studying Latin than I did in English class.

        Your body does begin to betray you with age. Anyone over 48 or so (ANYONE? ANYONE? BUELLER?) should pay close attention to changes they feel are unusual but hope are only temporary. It’s an insidious decline. It isn’t the end of the world, but it does disappoint and require adjustment. It will be a big topic of discussion for me when…

        I would love to hear the cheesecake metaphor. My instinct tells me it would supply me another piece of the puzzle. I am enjoying putting it together. I should begin a fact sheet. If you pay close attention as you read, you can build a pretty good bio of some bloggers. At times I can get confused with as many blogs as I frequent.

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