I can almost guess what some of you are thinking, “Okay Jed, what makes you think you know what all or at least most guys want in bed?” Good question. In my defense, “I say, give it a read and if you think I missed something let me know.”
I there there are just a few things that your husband really wants when it comes to sex:
The First Thing is Variety: Let’s face it, with few exceptions doing things the same way again and again gets pretty boring. For both of you! Speaking personally, I like all of the following: Quickies, longies, times that it is laid back – like long cuddling that leads to making love, intense times where we are giving as much passion as we can to each other. I don’t think I have ever found a position I don’t like, but then again we have not tried some of the ones that require us to be gymnasts. I like it when she takes control and like it when she wants me to control. Time of the day? Well, any time we can squeeze it in. Love massages before, I would really rather give her one, than get one, but I would not complain either way. (Check my post – The Ultimate Massage.) Lights on, lights off, candles, moonlight through the window, it is all great. Above anything else, I want all of these and would love rotating between them. I may like some more than others, but the truth is, I would take variety over doing my favorite activities over and over.
Another Important Factor is Frequency: This is impossible to really say how much is enough. For some guys they will want 5 or more times a week for other guys 1 – 2 a week will be enough. For most couples that, number will not be a firm number, but it will vary from week to week. The most important thing is that you two talk together and that you find out what your husband is thinking about for frequency and what you are thinking. That is the starting point, set a goal and try to make it happen. You might want to keep track when you do have sex so that you know, chances are your husband knows how often you are having sex, he good chance he knows how many times you have turned him down since you last had sex also.
The Most Important Thing is You Being Engaged: Your husband does not want to be a passive partner, he wants you to enjoy it, (many guys are as worried about your O as they are about their own O.) He wants you to participate. If it is a time where he is taking charge, he wants you to enjoy, but he also wants you to let him know that you are enjoying what he is doing. You don’t have to be a “screamer” to let him know that, but a little verbal feedback would not hurt, moans and sighs are great encouragement for a man. As are things like, “Right there,” “don’t stop,” “oooh, that feels nice,” and “I love you!” Your husband wants you to enjoy sex as much as or more than he does. Nothing is sexier than having your spouse want you as much as you want them. No, he is looking for you to be a porn star, but he does not want you staring at the ceiling and be thinking, “I wish we would have re-textured the ceiling before we painted this room.”
The Most Important Thing Your Husband Wants Is You! He wants your love and your playfulness. He wants your touch and your attention. He wants you to be into him as much as you want him to be into you!
He may speak a different love language, but he loves you as much or more in his love language as you do in yours. If you want him to learn your love language, make sure you are willing to learn his. (If you need more info about Love Languages, click here for links from my resource page.)