Enjoy What He Likes

peyton-manning-denver-broncos-throwingUnless you live under a rock (or are one of the ones fighting the cold) you know that the Super Big Football Game is Sunday. (I would use it’s real name, but don’t want the NFL after me – They get weird sometimes.)  The game is one of the highlights of the sports year for most guys and it is something we look forward to, even if our favorite team is not in the game.  (I am lucky this year; I am a life-long Bronco fan.)

Don’t take his joy in the events of day away by pouting or being grumpy because he wants to watch the game.  (BTW – This is true of all big events that he wants to see.) I know wives who get so upset that he wants to watch the game that they will do anything to keep him from doing it.  Ladies I know most of you are much more understanding of this than men are and for that I applaud you.  (My next post to husbands will be about not being sports junkies and the need to be more tolerant of what their wife likes.)

Don’t hate what he likes: I think most guys like sharing what they like with their wives and would like them to participate in their activities at least some times, if not all the time.  Mrs. Rock is not much of a football fan, except when it comes to the Broncos.  If I am watching a football game that does not include the Broncos, it is rare for her to sit and watch with me, in fact about the only time is when she really wants lay her head in my lap while she goes to sleep.  But if the Broncos are on, she normally tries to watch at least some of the game with me, if not from beginning to end.  I LOVE WATCHING THE BRONCOS WITH HER.  I love it more than I like watching it with my friends, even more than watching it with my sons.  There is something bonding about sharing that time together.  

I bet your hubby would feel the same way, whether it is a movie he likes, a sporting event, going for a run, or even going fishing.  He may like to do it with his buddies part of the time, but he will love you being there at least some of the time.

How To Watch Football: I it sounds silly, but there are things that help to make the experience better for everyone.  My kids learned these at an early age.

  • No walking in front of the TV during a play or during an instant replay.
  • No talking when the referees are talking. (The Referees are also known as Zebras &/or Refs.)
  • No talking while the announcers are discussing an import play or call – I know that is harder to know, but if he is glued to the screen, you might want to ask softly before you start talking.

Beyond those rules, it is just the basics, make sure you have some good munchies and lots of Dr. Pepper to enjoy the game with.  BTW – if you don’t really like the game, remember that some people are spending millions of dollars to put commercials on during the game.  Some years they are more entertaining than the game itself.  (Normally, I say commercials are the perfect time to do some kissing, but not during this game, although halftime me be good for that that, it is twice as long during the championship game.)

I Can’t Promise it will Work, but if start to show an interest in his likes, such as football, it may be that he will be more willing to take an interest in some of your likes such as chick flicks and Downton Abby.  You might find other ways to sweeten that deal, but that would be for another post!

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Advice for Guys – Again

businessman with hand on chinEvery now and then I take a post and send a little advice to the guys.  (I know there are a few guys who read RHW and I would guess that if you ladies like what I write for the guys, you might be sending your hubby this post.)

Okay Guys, Here it is:

telecharger-magic-love-original-335Be Romantic – Let’s face it guys, most women like romance.  They enjoy a touch of romance in their life.  It does not have to be every day, but we should do something at least every month. (Hey, that is just 12 times a year, not too much to ask in the way of an investment.)  BTW – Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, her Birthday, and your anniversary do not count.  You are expected to do something nice on those days.  If you need help remembering those days get a good calendar app for your phone, it is worth the investment!  I would also recommend you keep track of when you do something romantic for her, that way you will not forget.

Some romantic ideas:

  • Flowers – Always a good idea.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money; the Grocery Stores sell them for less than $10.  Also, if you can find wild flowers along the road, while they don’t last as long, she will still love the fact that you thought enough of her to stop and get them.
  • Cards & Notes – Again, something she will love and something you don’t have to spend much on.  My wife likes the cards I make on the computer as much or more than the ones that I buy.
  • Balloons – If you can do balloon animals great, if you can’t no problem, the dollar store has Mylar balloons with cool messages or graphics on it for a, what else at the dollar store, a dollar.
  • Candles – You can transform a room from normal to romantic with a few candles.  I once bought 24 votive candles in glass holders for about $8.  I put them in the room, light them all, some soft music, and brought Mrs. Rock in, she loved it.  I can use them a couple of more times.

Be Thoughtful – This is similar to romantic, but it is a little different in the application of it:  Here are some thoughtful ideas:

  • Leave Notes on Mirrors: Some different ways –
    • Get some anti-fog product (RainX makes one) and put it on the bathroom mirror, but use it to write a simple message like, “I Love You!”  Or “You Rock My World!”  She will see it every time she showers.
    • Write on the mirrors with a Sharpie or a Dry Erase marker.  You can write a lot this way, a long message.  Do it on the edges so she can still use the center of the mirror for what she needs.  The marker will come off with either glass cleaner or alcohol.
    • Behind the Mirror:  We are repainting right now, I have to take down the mirror and rehang it.  Before I rehang it, I am going to write a long note to here in sharpie and the mirror up over it.  I am going to take a picture of it, so she knows it is there.  I want her to know that I will be for years; maybe not being found for decades, yet that declaration of my love for her will be there. (I will put the text at the end of this post)
  • Paint a Note on a Wall:  Okay, it is a lot safer doing this when you know that you are going to paint the wall soon anyway. I painted a couple of things on the wall of the hallway.  One was a heart and another I wrote out, “I Love Mrs. Rock!”  Even if it just for a few days, she sees that every time she goes down that hall and knows I care for her.  (I am thinking about painting that back on there even after we paint the hallway, but I know she would worry that it would devalue house.)24132_1245401027714_1610041957_538475_690893_n
  • Get Some Vinyl Romantic Sayings: Either by some pre-made saying such as the one in the picture here or better yet, check with custom sign makers in town and have something make that is special to the two of you.
  • Make a Book:  With the software out there and the templates available to you, you can make wonderful memory books for you wife.  They can be full of pictures; you can do text with the pictures, even full pages of text.  I have done two or three of these for my wife.  I normally use MS Publisher, make the page the way I want it to look with pictures and text and then save the page as a JPEG.  I then put it in the photo book.  Once I have created the pages, I can do the rest on line and it will ship to your home (or work). The first time I did this, she cried when I gave it to her!

Of course there is the old standby, a romantic dinner out for just the two of you.  Hey, there is nothing wrong with this one, just make sure it is not your only trick and make sure that if you are doing this, that you help take care of the details your need to care for at home, like a babysitter for the kids and dinner for the kids.

Guys, take some time, invest a little effort and an few dollars into your marriage and it will pay off big dividends for you.  It will make her happy and it will help to bring you closer together.  The truth is, it does not matter too much what you do, it matters that you are thoughtful, caring, and loving in what you do.  If you don’t like any of the ideas above, or don’t think your wife will like them, that is fine, come up with ones that you think she will like.  I know that Mrs. Rock does not want me to spend a lot of money on her, she likes it when I can do things that don’t cost much, I suspect that there are a lot of wives out there like that, it is not the amount you spend, it is your effort.

(What I am writing behind the mirror) Every time you look in this mirror, I want you to remember the person you see is the person I love most in the whole world.  I am glad that our lives are intertwined. Know this, that when we are not together I miss you and that I crave everything about you, from your smile, your voice, your eyes, your kiss, your thoughts, and feeling your body next to mine.  You are a part of me, just as I am a part of you!

Some Low Cost & No Cost Gifts for Him

If you are like many, if not most of the families out there, money is tight this holiday season.  You most likely want to give your husband a really nice gift, but you can’t justify spending money that you really don’t have. [Whatever you do, debt2please don’t be one of those families who puts so much on the credit card that you don’t get it paid off until September.]  Here are some gifts that you can give your husband that will really make him happy and he will love them, especially if you tell him you will do one of these for him a couple of times a month for the next year.

Strip_Tease_Sequence_9_by_AlwaysElev8edA Striptease: Every guy would love his wife doing this for him.  Pick a time when you know that you will have time alone.  Pick any room in the house that gives you privacy – There are several rooms in our house that this works in if the kids are all gone.  A couple things that will help: Find some music that you like and will help you relax and feel good dancing to.  Also, soft low light, (red lights or black lights are supposed to work well, I was thinking about a bunch of candles) it will make you more mysterious and he will love it still & it will help you not feel as self-conscious about your body.  If you want tips on how to do a strip, I know there are some Youtube videos about it, but I never watched them. (I started to watch them once, but decided after about a minute, I should not see them.)

A Lap Dance: I know, (well at least I think I know, my experience is TV shows – not cable ones even, and what a couple of friends told me), it is similar to a strip tease, but it will involve you getting closer and even sitting on his lap and grinding on top of him.  I think the clubs have rules that the customer cannot touch you, only you can touch them.  The truth is up can make up whatever rules you want and enforce them.  He will still win.  A couple of variations for both the strip tease, you could start with him dressed or undressed, or you could make stripping him a part of either show. Again, youtube has some videos & no, I did not even start to watch them, I just saw that they were available.

A Fantasy Night: Give him a night that he can pick any fantasy he has and you will help him act it out.  [Yes, set limits, like no pain or humiliation but make this fun for both of you, but be willing to stretch your limits a little.] Maybe do this a couple of nights and the second night it is your fantasy that is lived out.

Some Flirty – Sexy Pictures: No, I am not talking about nudes, I don’t thinkstrip_tease_00 tumblr_mxif2reQ0R1r3cwd7o1_500those are a good idea, I wrote about that a while back, you can read that post here; However, here are a couple of picture types that I think any husband would love to have from his wife.  These samples give you an idea of what I am thinking. Get one of your friends to help and you can do the same for her.

A Romantic Dinner for Two: Fix a nice dinner for him that he enjoys, have o_new-women-dresses-sexy-party-dress-cocktail-party-dress-ff96nice place setting, pretty table decorations, and img55840633candles.  Wear something that is stunning and maybe a little daring for dinner, after all it is just the two of you. Some variations: Fix just one plate and feed him and yourself at the same time.  Blind fold him before you feed him, have less clothes on when you take the blind fold off him than you had when you started.  I think you can probably provide a great dessert, but a little whip cream and chocolate may be fun also. (BTW – to keep this inexpensive, try a combination of your lingerie and other clothes you have, like a swimsuit top with a short skirt. What am I thinking, you ladies know more about this than me. I did find a couple of places that have cheap corsets and cheap body stockings.)

Spend Christmas Night Under the Tree Together: The quiet of the night, the lights on the trees, the sound of the fire place (If you are lucky enough to have one.)  It can be a very romantic setting. If you don’t have comfortable way to spend the night out there like an air mattress, spend an hour or so out there together cuddling, making out, whatever, it will be a nice way to finish what should be a wonderful day! (If company, travels etc. prevents you doing it Christmas night, pick another one, it is still nice.)

Some Fun Easy Ones:

  • Temporary Tattoos in very private spots (Here are some tats I found, most seem to be water proof and come off with oil.)
  • Fake Body Jewelry like the tats only with some bling. (A Couple of samples I found Click Here for one or Click Here another)
  • Shave yourself for him.  I know not all guys like this, but if you have never done it, I bet he would like to see it at least once.  [Addition from Robyn @  Up with Marriage To my sisters, I would suggest NOT shaving yourself!!! The pain of a 10-20 min Brazilian far outweighs a week and half of regrowth — far tooo itchy and the last thing you’ll want is more sex. Of course this could just be me. Also, hard wax is virtually painless. (and don’t forget to tell them to do up the backside ;) )]
  • A nice massage. Something most guys will take anytime and love it every time.  You can read my tips from my article – The Ultimate Massage

Next Week, More Gifts for Him, including some more traditional stocking stuffers and (hopefully) a free gift for you to share with him.

Making the Most of the Time You Have

large_housework1_040508Husbands, believe it or not, can be a very understanding. We know that our wives are very busy.  The have a lot of responsibilities, which include, taking care of the house and the kids, probably volunteering for some organization, responsibilities at church, and in many cases, working outside the home also.

We understand that our wives are busy and that they are tired, sometimes (maybe even most of the time) to the point of being exhausted. We know that when you are like, there is not a lot of time for us and that you don’t have the energy to think about making love to us.  We may not like that you have no time for us, we don’t like it, but we get it, we understand that sometimes there is nothing left for us.  We tend to not get upset about it, because we know how life is.

There are however a couple of things that really do bother most guys, chances are that your husband is dealing with this.  I think it is important for you to know, what bothers us, it is even more important for you to be working on a solution to fix these problems:

Design background elementProblem One: Why Don’t You Make More Time for Us? We understand that there are many important things in your life.  We know that we can always be your number one priority, but it seems far too often that we are not even in the top ten of your priorities.  Maybe you think we are tough and therefore we can roll with the punches and we are okay with not being in the top ten.  Most of us can deal with that for a short time, but when we feel like we are never in the top 10 and you never seem to try to change that, well we don’t like it!  We believe that if we are really important to you, you would find a way to put us in the top ten.  When you don’t we start to believe that we really don’t matter much to you.

120404061904-couple-bed-woman-ignoring-man-story-topProblem Two: There are Nights when you are not so busy and tired, yet you don’t seem interesting in us on those nights.  We understand that many days you are worn out from all that you do.  What bothers us is, when there is a night where you are not too busy, not too tired, and you want to take up you time with things that do not involve us.  We even know that sometimes that you just need some time to yourself.  However, if for the past five nights you have had free, you have not made us a significant part of that time any of those night, it is hard for us to take.

Here are some of the things I hear from guys that their wives do instead of spending time with them. I am not talking about doing this for just an hour or two, but I know wives that spend literally from 7:00 or 8:00 until after midnight on one or more of these.  If it was just an hour or two, we would not complain, probably even enjoy it, because we know you need to unwind some and it would give us some time to unwind.

  • The computer, doing anything from FB to solitaire.
  • Playing with the pets.
  • On the phone with friends.
  • Games, either computer, video, card, or on paper like a crossword puzzle.
  • TV or Movies.
  • Hobbies.
  • Let’s not forget “Ladies’ Night Out.”

We don’t want to take away your fun, we don’t want to take away your enjoyment, and we just want to be part of that fun and enjoyment.  We want to think that spending time with us will make you happy, that it will be fun, that we can help relax you.  We know you make us happy, make us feel good, and we want to not only be with you, but we want to make you feel better.

Ladies, if you want to keep your marriage strong, if you want it to weather the test of time, if you want it to ride out the storms of life so that you can sail into the sunset happily with your husband, then you need to do your part to make it ship-shape.  You need to make him a priority in your marriage most of the time and you need to spend at least half of your down time with him.

Do Some Exploring Together.

Romantic KissesEach of us have spots that make us tingle with joy.  Sometimes it is the light feathery touch of a finger that brings that tingle, other times, other spots it is the firmer touch of the fingers, or whole hand that brings that same pleasure.  Other times, other parts of the body bring out those shivers, smiles, and sighs.  Sometimes, it’s the lips that do the trick, sometimes the tongue, sometimes eyelashes, sometimes teeth, and of course the possibilities are almost endless.

I believe that happy, healthy couples learn where those spots are on each other.  They have taken the time to explore each other, they have taken the time to experiment, they have learned how to make each other happy and they take much joy in doing that.

I think it is important for you and your husband to spend time learning each other’s pleasure spots.  It is important that you do this together, that you learn his spots and that you let him learn yours. Spend time playing together, spend time talking, and learn together.

Almost every guy I know, wants to know those spots on his wife.  Husbands, at least the vast majority, want to able to make their wives very happy in bed.  They get as muchWomen pleasure, in many case more pleasure bring their wife pleasure than they do their own.  So it is important that you let him learn your pleasure spots.  Teach him, he wants to learn.  Teach him, that it is not formula, that it is not 3 minutes here, 5 minutes there, and then an explosion.  Teach him that it takes time, that it takes variety, that what blew your socks off last week, may not do the same thing this week, yet it may bring about an even greater explosion next week.  Teach him what he wants to learn, what he needs to learn.  He will be grateful.  But also, learn what you can about him.

No matter where you are in your relationship, there is still more that you can learn about each other.  I am willing to bet that you more learn about each other physically the closer you will grown to each other in all areas.  Sometimes the first time you try something, one of you may not enjoy it that much, however, the next time, you may both love it.  However, always be sensitive to each other’s limits – we all have them and that is a good thing.

Something that is fun to do, when you know the spots that effect him, discretely touch one of those spots while you are at dinner or at a BBQ, it will have him thinking about you and smiling the rest of the evening.

How to Initiate Sex even if you are Shy

I know that a lot of women are shy when it comes to initiating sex.  This comes from several things, women have been told good girls don’t initiate sex, it comes from fear of rejection, but whatever the reason, wives should initiate sex some of the time.  Your husband loves it when you do, it makes him feel loved and very, very special.

If you are shy and unsure how to initiate sex here are a few suggestions:

  • Wear some sexy lingerie to bed – I can almost guarantee that this alone will cause the average husband to respond to you.
  • Sensuous kisses are always a good way.  Truly passionate kisses will send pink_lips-t2messages that speak louder than words.  Don’t forget that you can passionately kiss more than just his mouth, throat, neck, ear, chest, nipples, are all spots that will work also. (If you have not found those spots on your husband, time to do some exploring.)
  • One nice thing is while you are hugging or cuddling is to take his hand and place it some place on your body where you both like his hands and he knows you are saying, “I want to go further.”
  • Another possibility is to take his hand and direct him to slow start caressing you, it can be any place that you like, my wife likes me to rub her stomach.  If she starts my hands moving and then does something like caressing me, kissing me, or even just making those little purring like moans she makes, I know what she is thinking.
  • Of course you can always just put your hands someplace on him that you both enjoy your hands being.

Sometimes wives think they are sending a signal to their husband, that they want to make love and are initiating it, but the husband does not get the message (we guys don’t always get the subtle difference between this is “just a cuddle night” and “let’s make love”) and then the wife feels rejected, when in reality he would have been excited to make love. This is why communication with your husband is so important. Talking to him about how you could initiate sex would be a good conversation to have with your husband: This is one conversation that your husband will love having.  It is amazing to me that most women love to talk about every under the sun, except sex and at the same time, that is one conversation that your husband would love to have with you. Here are some things you might discuss with him:

  • Tell him you are shy, but that you still want to initiate love making sometimes.
  • Ask him for some suggestions on ways that you can, as a shy person let him know you want to make love.
  • You could decide on a code or code word that would let him know your intention. Something like, “tigress,” or “baked Alaska” or whatever you feel comfortable saying could send the message you want.
  • One code could be as simple as wearing pearls (I love a woman in pearls) or a special hair clip or anything else you feel comfortable with using as a signal.
  • It could also be something like you lighting candles in your room or turning down the bed – that could be the code.

I am sure that if you talk with your husband, he will be thrilled and will do what he can to help you find a way to make passes at him.  Also, just knowing that you are thinking about it will make him happy and encourage him.

Some other things that you may consider doing:

  • Offer to give him a massage – it is always something that a man will love and will Sex-sin-article-picget him excited at the same time. You may want to check out my Ultimate Massage post if you have not read it.
  • Whisper things in his ear – almost anything will work because almost anything whispered in the ear will sound sexy.
  • Notes & Texts also work nicely; again this is a great place for code words.
  • Going commando and letting him you are going commando is also a good idea. (Nice thing, if you are shy about going commando all day long, don’t go commando until a little bit before bed – let’s you be comfortable all day long and still turns him on.)

The biggest thing is to find something that works for you.  Find something that you are comfortable with and something that sends the signal that you are trying to send.  It does not have to be fancy, it just needs to communicate, “Honey, I would love to make love to you tonight!”  That is a message he will love to hear!!