I attended a Promise Keeper Conference over the Weekend. I have been to several PK events over the years and as usual, I came away, strengthen, renewed, and wiped out. (They can be emotionally draining and a 5 hour drive each way also takes some toll on a guy.)
Promise Keepers’ central message is simple, Love God, Love your Wife, Love your Kids. Then they remind guys that Love Demands Action. In simple terms, they told guys, “Man up! Do the right thing! Protect your wife and kids. Do not do things that will harm your family.” The central message was, “Draw close to God, you need Him and your Family needs you!”
Here are a few Quotations from the Weekend that I found interesting:
- “You gotta have a blood test to prove that you are God’s.” – Miles McPherson
- “We all worship something – What do you worship?” – Derwin Grey
- “We should wallpaper our minds with the Word of God.” – Derwin Grey
- “Marinate yourself in God’s Word.” – Derwin Grey
- “All sin means we are living in a state of temporary insanity.” Crawford Loritz
- “There is no long term victory in the Christian life without Christian community.” – Crawford Loritz
- “If the truth offends you, that is your problem” – (Unknown)
Trying to summarize a 10 hour event is kind of hard to do, but I think the following is a pretty accurate representation: Men need to love God and make sure that He is at the center of our lives. Christianity is more than going to church, it is about having a relationship with God, it is about loving Him with everything we have. Our love for God will manifest itself in many ways, and demand certain actions from us, such as, loving our wives and children, being active in our church, and protecting our family, church, and community from evil. They hit us hard on the issue of pornography, they blamed (and rightfully so – in my opinion) the problem of human trafficking on men and challenged us to start fighting against it. They called us to love and honor our wives, both when we are with them and when we are apart. They also called us to racial reconciliation, something that PK has been emphasizing since the early 90’s.
In years past feminist groups have attack Promise Keepers for trying to get men to dominate their wives. All I heard was that we are to love, respect, and be there for our wives and families. (One session’s message revolved around husbands washing their wife’s feet as a symbol of being a servant to them, like Jesus did at the last supper.) If your husband is thinking about going to a PK event, encourage him to do it. (If you are on of the men who reads this blog, find a conference and go.) There is only one conference left this year and it is in Florida, but make plans now, to go next year. You can find more info on PK here – Promise Keepers.*
*If you have Questions about PK, check out their About pull-down menu, I would recommend their 7 Promises & Core Value sections as good places to start.
I stumbled upon a couple of articles this week that that talk about the dangers of internet porn. These articles are articles that every parent needs to read. Whether you are a man or a woman, you need to read them and come up with a way to talk to your kids about it.
The first article is from The London Times and is titled, Generation Porn. In this article it describes how kids are using porn as a way to learn about sex and the things that they see in porn are effecting their view of what sex should be. They think the violence, degrading, the harshness of pornography is what is normal in a sexual relationship. The facts and the stories that the author uses are hard, but necessary to hear. Just on paragraph had the following information in it, “A study by Healthy-Mind.com found that the average age of first exposure to online pornographic images is six. Other recent studies have suggested eight. The largest child consumers of internet porn are the 12-17 age group.”
The second article is from Anne Marie Miller and is titled, Three Things You Don’t Know About Your Children and Sex. This article relates information that Anne learned from working with children at youth camps during the summer. One sad fact is that the first place kids turn to for information about sex is Google and even worse then tend towards Google Images instead of someplace they have to read. Not the best place to learn from. Another interesting bit of information was that all parents seem to think that their kids is the exception, that they don’t view pornography on the net, that they don’t do anything wrong. The truth is, most of our kids are not the exception. If you think your kids are, you are probably fooling yourself.
I know I am going to have a long talk with my kids after reading these. I am not looking forward to it, but I know it is important. In reality, I feel a little ashamed that I have not already had this talk with my oldest.
When I start Rock His World, I wanted to help marriages, I wanted do my part to save them, and I wanted to do my part to make them safer and stronger. I think I have written some pretty good articles to that end. However, what I am posting today I think is the most important thing I have ever posted. We are in a way for the souls of our children. If children think that what they see in porn is normal, they will be involved in very unhealthy relationships. Even worse, if you do everything in your power to keep your children safe, what happens if they date or marry someone who has this distorted view of sex? It will cause heartache and problems for your kids!!
Please Read these articles and discuss them with your spouse and then with your kids!!
I see a lot of Marriage Sites on the net that talk about biblical submission. I want you to know that I believe in the concept and the practice of biblical submission, I think it is the best way for a family to function. However, in most of what I see about biblical submission, I do not see what I believe the Bible really teaches about biblical submission. I would like to look at this passage and explain what I think most people miss when it comes to the concept of biblical submission.
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands – Eph. 5:21-24 (Verses 25-33 will follow) [New Living Translation]
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
Some Observations about this Passage:
- Note: This command is for the wives, it is calling for wives to do this. It does not say, Husbands, make your wife submit.
- If a wife will not submit, it is ultimately between her and the Lord.
- Husbands may suggest this is what his wife should do, but he should never try to force her.
- Ladies, when you submit to your husband, it should be out of your love for the Lord, out of your desire to please God. Yes, it will probably please your husband, but is ultimately part of your relationship and trust in the Lord that causes you to do this.
- Notice that there is a certain amount of mutual submission involved here. However, V. 21 is a general statement and V. 22 is a specific statement and in good interpretation, general statements are modified and refined by specific statements. In other words, although there is a certain amount of mutual submission, there is greater degree put on the wives than the husbands. (Ladies, please stay with me on this one, read to the end before you get annoyed with me.)
Now for the Part that Seems to Get Skipped:
Eph. 5:25-33 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Some Observations about this Passage:
- This passage is written to husband, it tells then what they should do. Notice through out the passage, it tells the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial way.
- V. 25 – Love your wife as Christ loved the church – How did Jesus ultimately show His love the church? He died to establish it. – Wow, are most husbands doing that?
- V. 28 – Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. – Again, are husbands really loving their wife as much as they love them self?
- In reality, what God is commanding the husband to do is to love their wife more than he loves himself.
- Anytime a husband uses the concept of submission to treat his wife in an unloving way, he is wrong.
- A husband must put his wife’s needs above his own needs.
- Anytime that a wife is not submitting to her husband, the husband needs to first ask himself, “Am I loving my wife as Christ loved the church?” If husband answers, “No.” then he needs to work on his part and not worry about her part.
- Look how this all works together: When a man loves his wife so much that he is truly putting her needs above his own needs, then she would have not have to worry about submitting to him because the husband would never do anything to harm his wife.
- A husband cannot really love his wife if he does not do the following:
- Talk to his wife, see what she thinks of each and every situation going on which effects the family.
- He must put her needs above his own needs and do, not what he wants, but what is best for his wife and family.
- Husbands also need to be reminded, that the position that they are placed in is not really that of a privilege, but more of a responsibility.
- This passage is one of the most miss-used, abused, and misunderstood passages in the Bible:
- It has been miss-used by men (in the church) to put women in a second class status.
- It has been used by feminists and others to show that Christianity is unjust and even invalid.
- If the church will teach the truth of this passage and the totality of this passage instead of just part of it, it will become a passage that does create conflict (or at least as much conflict) and instead creates harmony and closeness. While it might not solve all problems people have with this passage, it will go along way towards understanding what God really desires in marriage.