Make Out Monday – A Touch of the Irish

Happy St. Patrick’s Day – I think that is Patrick was alive today, he would be upset with how his holiday is celebrated.  He would not like the idea of people using his life and his ministry for an excuse to get plastered.  However, I get the feeling that he would like the idea of a husband and a wife spending time together, maybe some hugs and kisses.  And if Patrick’s celibacy prevented him from understanding and appreciating it, I know that God would approve and much rather we celebrate this day with marital love than with with too much green beer and Irish whiskey.

Here is a play list from Enya, an Irish singer who has one of the most haunting and soothing voices I know.  I hope you can find some time to gather your spouse in your arms and enjoy part or all of this play list:

 

Disclaimer:  I try to make sure that all of the songs that I post are appropriate for Christians.  I try to screen them both for lyrical content and video content.  One this project because of the length of the play list, I did not get all the way through it.  I hope that everything will be appropriate – but if not I apologize and would like to hear from you what you found and why it was objectionable, so I can keep from repeating the error.

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Some Low Cost & No Cost Gifts for Him

If you are like many, if not most of the families out there, money is tight this holiday season.  You most likely want to give your husband a really nice gift, but you can’t justify spending money that you really don’t have. [Whatever you do, debt2please don’t be one of those families who puts so much on the credit card that you don’t get it paid off until September.]  Here are some gifts that you can give your husband that will really make him happy and he will love them, especially if you tell him you will do one of these for him a couple of times a month for the next year.

Strip_Tease_Sequence_9_by_AlwaysElev8edA Striptease: Every guy would love his wife doing this for him.  Pick a time when you know that you will have time alone.  Pick any room in the house that gives you privacy – There are several rooms in our house that this works in if the kids are all gone.  A couple things that will help: Find some music that you like and will help you relax and feel good dancing to.  Also, soft low light, (red lights or black lights are supposed to work well, I was thinking about a bunch of candles) it will make you more mysterious and he will love it still & it will help you not feel as self-conscious about your body.  If you want tips on how to do a strip, I know there are some Youtube videos about it, but I never watched them. (I started to watch them once, but decided after about a minute, I should not see them.)

A Lap Dance: I know, (well at least I think I know, my experience is TV shows – not cable ones even, and what a couple of friends told me), it is similar to a strip tease, but it will involve you getting closer and even sitting on his lap and grinding on top of him.  I think the clubs have rules that the customer cannot touch you, only you can touch them.  The truth is up can make up whatever rules you want and enforce them.  He will still win.  A couple of variations for both the strip tease, you could start with him dressed or undressed, or you could make stripping him a part of either show. Again, youtube has some videos & no, I did not even start to watch them, I just saw that they were available.

A Fantasy Night: Give him a night that he can pick any fantasy he has and you will help him act it out.  [Yes, set limits, like no pain or humiliation but make this fun for both of you, but be willing to stretch your limits a little.] Maybe do this a couple of nights and the second night it is your fantasy that is lived out.

Some Flirty – Sexy Pictures: No, I am not talking about nudes, I don’t thinkstrip_tease_00 tumblr_mxif2reQ0R1r3cwd7o1_500those are a good idea, I wrote about that a while back, you can read that post here; However, here are a couple of picture types that I think any husband would love to have from his wife.  These samples give you an idea of what I am thinking. Get one of your friends to help and you can do the same for her.

A Romantic Dinner for Two: Fix a nice dinner for him that he enjoys, have o_new-women-dresses-sexy-party-dress-cocktail-party-dress-ff96nice place setting, pretty table decorations, and img55840633candles.  Wear something that is stunning and maybe a little daring for dinner, after all it is just the two of you. Some variations: Fix just one plate and feed him and yourself at the same time.  Blind fold him before you feed him, have less clothes on when you take the blind fold off him than you had when you started.  I think you can probably provide a great dessert, but a little whip cream and chocolate may be fun also. (BTW – to keep this inexpensive, try a combination of your lingerie and other clothes you have, like a swimsuit top with a short skirt. What am I thinking, you ladies know more about this than me. I did find a couple of places that have cheap corsets and cheap body stockings.)

Spend Christmas Night Under the Tree Together: The quiet of the night, the lights on the trees, the sound of the fire place (If you are lucky enough to have one.)  It can be a very romantic setting. If you don’t have comfortable way to spend the night out there like an air mattress, spend an hour or so out there together cuddling, making out, whatever, it will be a nice way to finish what should be a wonderful day! (If company, travels etc. prevents you doing it Christmas night, pick another one, it is still nice.)

Some Fun Easy Ones:

  • Temporary Tattoos in very private spots (Here are some tats I found, most seem to be water proof and come off with oil.)
  • Fake Body Jewelry like the tats only with some bling. (A Couple of samples I found Click Here for one or Click Here another)
  • Shave yourself for him.  I know not all guys like this, but if you have never done it, I bet he would like to see it at least once.  [Addition from Robyn @  Up with Marriage To my sisters, I would suggest NOT shaving yourself!!! The pain of a 10-20 min Brazilian far outweighs a week and half of regrowth — far tooo itchy and the last thing you’ll want is more sex. Of course this could just be me. Also, hard wax is virtually painless. (and don’t forget to tell them to do up the backside ;) )]
  • A nice massage. Something most guys will take anytime and love it every time.  You can read my tips from my article – The Ultimate Massage

Next Week, More Gifts for Him, including some more traditional stocking stuffers and (hopefully) a free gift for you to share with him.

Making the Most of the Time You Have

large_housework1_040508Husbands, believe it or not, can be a very understanding. We know that our wives are very busy.  The have a lot of responsibilities, which include, taking care of the house and the kids, probably volunteering for some organization, responsibilities at church, and in many cases, working outside the home also.

We understand that our wives are busy and that they are tired, sometimes (maybe even most of the time) to the point of being exhausted. We know that when you are like, there is not a lot of time for us and that you don’t have the energy to think about making love to us.  We may not like that you have no time for us, we don’t like it, but we get it, we understand that sometimes there is nothing left for us.  We tend to not get upset about it, because we know how life is.

There are however a couple of things that really do bother most guys, chances are that your husband is dealing with this.  I think it is important for you to know, what bothers us, it is even more important for you to be working on a solution to fix these problems:

Design background elementProblem One: Why Don’t You Make More Time for Us? We understand that there are many important things in your life.  We know that we can always be your number one priority, but it seems far too often that we are not even in the top ten of your priorities.  Maybe you think we are tough and therefore we can roll with the punches and we are okay with not being in the top ten.  Most of us can deal with that for a short time, but when we feel like we are never in the top 10 and you never seem to try to change that, well we don’t like it!  We believe that if we are really important to you, you would find a way to put us in the top ten.  When you don’t we start to believe that we really don’t matter much to you.

120404061904-couple-bed-woman-ignoring-man-story-topProblem Two: There are Nights when you are not so busy and tired, yet you don’t seem interesting in us on those nights.  We understand that many days you are worn out from all that you do.  What bothers us is, when there is a night where you are not too busy, not too tired, and you want to take up you time with things that do not involve us.  We even know that sometimes that you just need some time to yourself.  However, if for the past five nights you have had free, you have not made us a significant part of that time any of those night, it is hard for us to take.

Here are some of the things I hear from guys that their wives do instead of spending time with them. I am not talking about doing this for just an hour or two, but I know wives that spend literally from 7:00 or 8:00 until after midnight on one or more of these.  If it was just an hour or two, we would not complain, probably even enjoy it, because we know you need to unwind some and it would give us some time to unwind.

  • The computer, doing anything from FB to solitaire.
  • Playing with the pets.
  • On the phone with friends.
  • Games, either computer, video, card, or on paper like a crossword puzzle.
  • TV or Movies.
  • Hobbies.
  • Let’s not forget “Ladies’ Night Out.”

We don’t want to take away your fun, we don’t want to take away your enjoyment, and we just want to be part of that fun and enjoyment.  We want to think that spending time with us will make you happy, that it will be fun, that we can help relax you.  We know you make us happy, make us feel good, and we want to not only be with you, but we want to make you feel better.

Ladies, if you want to keep your marriage strong, if you want it to weather the test of time, if you want it to ride out the storms of life so that you can sail into the sunset happily with your husband, then you need to do your part to make it ship-shape.  You need to make him a priority in your marriage most of the time and you need to spend at least half of your down time with him.

Biblical Submission: There is More than You Think!

I see a lot of Marriage Sites on the net that talk about biblical submission.  I want you to shooesknow that I believe in the concept and the practice of biblical submission, I think it is the best way for a family to function. However, in most of what I see about biblical submission, I do not see what I believe the Bible really teaches about biblical submission.  I would like to look at this passage and explain what I think most people miss when it comes to the concept of biblical submission.

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands – Eph. 5:21-24 (Verses 25-33 will follow) [New Living Translation]

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Some Observations about this Passage:

  • Note: This command is for the wives, it is calling for wives to do this.  It does not say, Husbands, make your wife submit.
    • If a wife will not submit, it is ultimately between her and the Lord.
    • Husbands may suggest this is what his wife should do, but he should never try to force her.
  • Ladies, when you submit to your husband, it should be out of your love for the Lord, out of your desire to please God.  Yes, it will probably please your husband, but is ultimately part of your relationship and trust in the Lord that causes you to do this.
  • Notice that there is a certain amount of mutual submission involved here.  However, V. 21 is a general statement and V. 22 is a specific statement and in good interpretation, general statements are modified and refined by specific statements.  In other words, although there is a certain amount of mutual submission, there is greater degree put on the wives than the husbands. (Ladies, please stay with me on this one, read to the end before you get annoyed with me.)

Now for the Part that Seems to Get Skipped:

Eph. 5:25-33 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Some Observations about this Passage:

  • This passage is written to husband, it tells then what they should do.  Notice through 111589385_2FlwNCje_cout the passage, it tells the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial way.
  • V. 25 – Love your wife as Christ loved the church – How did Jesus ultimately show His love the church? He died to establish it. – Wow, are most husbands doing that?
  • V. 28 – Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. – Again, are husbands really loving their wife as much as they love them self?
  • In reality, what God is commanding the husband to do is to love their wife more than he loves himself.
  • Anytime a husband uses the concept of submission to treat his wife in an unloving way, he is wrong.
  • A husband must put his wife’s needs above his own needs.

Some Conclusions:

  • Anytime that a wife is not submitting to her husband, the husband needs to first ask himself, “Am I loving my wife as Christ loved the church?” If husband answers, “No.” then he needs to work on his part and not worry about her part.
  • Look how this all works together: When a man loves his wife so much that he is truly couple-talkingputting her needs above his own needs, then she would have not have to worry about submitting to him because the husband would never do anything to harm his wife.
  • A husband cannot really love his wife if he does not do the following:
    • Talk to his wife, see what she thinks of each and every situation going on which effects the family.
    • He must put her needs above his own needs and do, not what he wants, but what is best for his wife and family.
  • Husbands also need to be reminded, that the position that they are placed in is not really that of a privilege, but more of a responsibility.

Final thoughts:

  • This passage is one of the most miss-used, abused, and misunderstood passages in the Bible:
    • It has been miss-used by men (in the church) to put women in a second class status.
    • It has been used by feminists and others to show that Christianity is unjust and even invalid.
  • If the church will teach the truth of this passage and the totality of this passage instead of just part of it, it will become a passage that does create conflict (or at least as much conflict) and instead creates harmony and closeness.  While it might not solve all problems people have with this passage, it will go along way towards understanding what God really desires in marriage.

Let Him Pamper You!

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I love to pamper my wife.  I like to do nice things for her, romantic events, flowers, gifts, 25-Red-roses-in-a-vase-300x300and such.  For our 25th anniversary, I surprised her with a romantic weekend get away.  25 roses where waiting for us in our hotel room, I wrote a memory book that I had published from a custom book company, and I pampered her as much as possible.  I loved every minute of it.

I could go on about other things, but I think you get the point that I like to do things for her.  Candle light, soft 06-pamper-woman-061211music, sparkling grape juice (We don’t drink) and whatever I can do to make her feel loved. I love to give her back rubs and full body rubs.  I love to use oil on her, I love the way it leaves her skin so soft for days, even weeks later.

However, there is a problem.  She is resistant to me doing these things.  She does not like me making a big deal over her.  I have made it clear to her that I don’t do these things so she will make love to me.  I told her many times, I would be happy if she would just fall asleep while I did it.

The truth is it really bugs me that she does not let me pamper her more.  Which, pamper 1  brings me to my point for you wives out there.  It is quite simple, when your husband wants to pamper you, LET HIM!  It will make him happy, he will enjoy it. Relax, let him take care of you, let him pamper you.  If he is asking to do it, then he wants to do it. Don’t feel guilty, feel cherished. The more you enjoy it, the more he will enjoy it. It is definitely a Win – Win situation!

Postscript: I just read a wonderful post today by Forgiven Wife, entitled: “Leap of Faith.”  Her post relates to the topic of this blog since she is dealing with wives who feel that they are not worthy of happiness in marriage.  I found this to be a great article and it may give you an insight about why some ladies don’t want to be to be pampered.