Classy not Trashy

One of the things that I love seeing the most in the world is when my wife dresses up for me.  I love to see her look her best, every time she fixes herself up for me, I am reminded that I am the luckiest guy in the world.  (Yes, I would still consider myself lucky even if she was not still beautiful, but it is like having an extra treat that she is beautiful and hot.) 

I think most guys would agree with me, that they love seeing their wives look nice for them.  I would encourage you ladies to dress up for your man any time you can. (I know it is a hassle to do everyday, but try for a few times a month, he will love it.)

A Few Things You May Want to Consider:

Your husband loves to see you look nice, to even look alluring, but he does not wantPaulina-Carmel-Modest-Clothing you to show off for the world.  There are some parts of you that are for his eyes only.  He wants to keep it that way.  This can include things that are too tight as well as too low cut or too high cut.  A while back I was at my favorite coffee shop one morning and it seemed like half the ladies there showing off more than what I would consider proper.  It disturbed me, coffee and an eye-full was not the way I wanted to start my day.  Classy, not trashy is always the way a Christian should dress, both male and female.  (My wife won’t let me wear my running tights unless I wear shorts over them)

Don’t forget, this includes around the house if there are others around.  It helps to set a good example for your kids, they need to know about modesty.  It is okay, when they get older, for them to know that you dress seductively for your husband sometimes, but they don’t need to see you in the outfits.

red_couture_corset_with_beadsWhen you and your husband are alone, show as much as you want.  If you have an inner seductress that wants to tease and titillate, go for it, tease and titillate as much as you want.  If you are a little more shy and not ready to show more skin that not, that is okay, find something that you like, something that says, “I want you to want me” and wear it for him.  I know that you ladies know best what you look good in.  I would suggest that every now and then, buy something that is a little out of your comfort zone and wear it for him.  He will love whatever you wear, because he knows you are trying to please him.

I know many women feel cheated if they get lingerie for a birthday gift, thinking it is really more for him.  I can see that, it makes sense.  I have tried a couple of times for my birthday to get my wife to buy herself some lingerie and wear it to bed for me on my birthday (or whatever event)!  I would love that, I get the feeling that your husband would like it also.

BTW – If you struggle with body image, you are probably worried about nothing.  Any decent guy knows that what is one the inside is more important than what is on the outside.  I am willing to bet that he loves you the way you are and wants you more than you realize.  I am most attracted to my wife’s build as a type of body I like. (Yes, I know it may have to do with love more than anything, but what is wrong with that?)  Studies have shown that it is true of most husbands.  Your heart will still shine more than anything else anyway and he loves that a lot.

In many ways the old idea is true: A man wants a classy wife in public, but in private, he desires someone who wants to Rock His WorldDressing to please him is a great way to start.

Other Ways to Show Love

Most of us have thought about different ways to express love to the ones that we love.  I want to share a few ideas about ways to make your husband feel loved.

Show him respect to your husband and teach your children to respect him also.  I Respectthink this is a huge one today.  We live in a world where there is so much disrespect.  Respect is something we crave, we don’t like it when people dismiss us, our opinions, or our actions as being worthless.  We all want people in general and our families specifically to give honest, careful consideration to our actions.  We don’t often get it in the world, but we crave it from our family. (PeacefulWife.com has a couple of posts that you may want to check out on this topic.5 Ways Wives Unwittingly Disrespect Their Husbands & Husbands Share What is Disrespectful to Them)

Tell him that he is special to you. Most guys are used to hearing “I love you,” from their wife.  It is common, expected, and sometimes said out of habit more than out of genuine feeling. (At the very least guys worry it is said out of habit whether it really is or not.) However, when a wife says, “You are really special to me,” it makes him feel awesome.  It makes him think, “Wow, she really does care, she really does like me and love me.” Want to take it up a notch? Tell him you crave him!  That will Rock His World!

Presents are always nice: It does not have to be big expensive ones, just something CLIF Builder's Cookies & Cream Bar Closethat shows you are thinking about him and want to do something nice for him.  When my wife buys me a couple of my favorite energy/protein bars (Cliff: Builder Bars) or drops a Slushi by my office, I love it.  It shows that she is thinking of me and who does not like to be thought of?

Time with him, doing something he likes: I don’t watch a lot of sports on TV, on an average weekend, I may see a half of a football game and that is normally comprised of watching a few minutes of games on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  The one denver-broncos-wallpaper__400x250exception is if we are getting the Denver Bronco game.  Then I will probably sit and watch the whole game, only moving to get another diet Dr. Pepper or some snacks.  The Broncos are a family event, the boys are even more into them than me.  My wife likes them, but normally has something else she would rather do than watch them with me.  I love it however, when she says, “Forget the other stuff.” and pulls out the blanket and cuddles up with me on the couch to watch the game.  It is a treat, even if she does fall asleep and I can’t cheer as loud for the touchdowns as I would if she was not there.  The same thing is true when she watches a movie that I like and she really does not care about or even a bigger sacrifice, she watches a Marathon with me.  It is one of the things that she does to show me that she cares about me and that she loves me.

Something written down that he can keep.  My wife bought a blank book a couple of years ago and about every month or so, she writes in it and then leaves it on my pillow.  It is so nice to see something written that I know I can read later on when I am feeling down.  She normally tells me two things, that she loves me and what she appreciates about me.  It is nice to feel appreciate!

If you are still not sure what to do – ASK HIM!  He would be thrilled to know that you are thinking of him enough that you want to do something to reward him.  If you ask him, don’t let him say, “You don’t need to do anything.”  Tell him, that you want to do something nice for him.  You plan to do it periodically and you want to know what he would like.  Just make sure if you ask him, you do something soon for him.  You don’t want to get his hopes up and then not do anything.

Some other things that are nice:

  • A Massage (You may want to read my post about The Ultimate Message)
  • His Favorite Dinner.
  • A date – just the two of you, ask him out, take care of everything.
  • Doing some of his chores.
  • Dinner or lunch at a place he likes.
  • Letting sleep in.
  • Taking him out for a treat: An ice cream date, a coffee date…

You are only limited by your imagination. Many of the things you can do are low cost or no cost.

 
 
 

Ultimate Massage

I love massages, most of the time I would rather give a massage than get one. (And no, hot-stone-massageI don’t turn everyone of them into an excuse for sex, although if that is how she wishes to tip me, who am I to argue.)  Following is what I would consider to be the ultimate massage.  I think almost every guy would enjoy it.

Let’s face it, most of the time when a guy gets a massage, he really gets in the mood to have sex.  After all the rubbing and stroking of his body get him excited and part of his brain is thinking, “I wonder if I will get a happy ending or not.”  Another part of him may be embarrassed that the signs of his arousal are so obvious and maybe a little worried if it is making his wife uncomfortable.  Sometimes we think, “She agreed to the massage, she did not agree to making love afterward and I want both.”  The problem with all of this is, this has the effect of distracting the man from the pleasure of the massage because he is wondering if he is going to get his happy ending.  (I know we should not be like this, but I am just being honest.)

So Here is My Solution: Start the massage with a happy beginning(Yep, that means what you think it means.) Start with him laying on his back and use whatever method you know he would like and allow him to orgasm at the start. (I would suggest something other than intercourse though – more on that later.) Allow him to get that release out of the way, that way he is not thinking about if it will happen, but rather enjoying the effects of just having orgasmed.

FUENTE_Hot_Stone_Massage_314From there, clean him up as needed, have him roll over and start giving him a regular massage. (If want to learn to give a better massage, youtube.com has several good tutorials) He will be relaxed because of his happy beginning and will probably be putty in your hands. Do a good job on him, spending a decent amount of time. (When I massage my wife, I try to spend about a half an hour working on her back and the same on her stomach – that is before I would start doing anything that would constitute an erotic massage, if she is up for it that night.)  Depending on many things, there is a good chance that he will fall asleep while you are working on him.

Turn him over and start on his front side. I suggest starting with the face, massaging the muscles there (a lot of tension starts in the face, the eyes and the jaw), then working down the torso, stop at the waist, go to the feet (as a runner, I really appreciate a good foot message) and work your way up.  Again, take your time, enjoy what you are doing, when you are enjoying it, it will be more enjoyable for him.  Give the hips and both inner and outer thighs a lot of attention.  Now when you get back to his crotch, give hit a nice rub, all over, that too can be very relaxing and enjoyable.

There are a couple of options here that can happen, in reality both are wonderful. If your man is plain wore out, there is a very good chance that he will just fall asleep.  If he does, let him sleep, it is likely that he will have about the best sleep he has had in a long time.  His muscles relaxed by your hands after you had relaxed another part of his body.  If this is the way the massage finishes, give yourself a pat on the back, say to yourself, “I done good!” and lay down next to him and fall asleep in the knowledge that you did a good job.  (You will probably wake to having the most grateful man in the world kissing your feet and offering to fix you breakfast or whatever you want.)  The other option is also nice for both of you also.  If, while you are massaging around his crotch, something comes up and announces to you that it is ready for more attention, take your time, with your message, encourage it, play with it however you want and when you are ready, climb on top of your husband and make love to him. (That is why I did not recommend his first orgasm to be achieved through intercourse, but you certainly would know what would be best for your man, not me.) Match your moods to each other, knowing that since he has already had one orgasm that night it will probably take a bit for the second one to happen.  When all of this happens, I can almost guarantee you that you will have the happiest man in the world in  bed with you.  He will probably be wondering whatever did he do to get so lucky and to deserve such a wonderful wife.

One word of caution, when he has that second orgasm, after all you have done to massage him after the first orgasm, he is probably going to be like jelly and will sleep so soundly that nothing will wake him that night.  Don’t expect a long cuddling afterglow after this night, but know that you have given him a gift beyond any price.

I can virtually guarantee that you will put a smile on his face that will last for days.  I wonder if I can talk Mrs. Jed into one of these tonight.  Sounds like a great idea to me.

A Couple Things to Consider:

Make sure the room temperature is pleasant.  You don’t want him shivering from the cold or sweating from the heat.
Use oil for the massage. Although you can buy massage oils, they can be pricey.  We have used both olive oil and coconut oil.  Both are easily found and both seem to be save to use a lubricant for intercourse.  Baby oil may not be a good choice, in my research there was some indications it might not be good to use for intercourse.
Make sure the oil is warmed up to about 100 degrees, either too hot or too cold is not fun.
– Set the mood with his favorite music, soft lighting, candles, whatever you think would make a nice setting for you both.
– Another thing, the less you wear the better. For one you don’t want to get oil on something and ruin it. Another thing, let’s face it, he will love feeling your bare skin against his during the massage and he gets to see your body, something he probably never gets enough of.  Also, it makes it that much easier for you to crawl on top of him at the end if you don’t have to take anything off.

The Attitude of Gratitude

So here goes my first post.  The site is far from ready, but I feel strongly about this post. 

besthappymothersday_fullI was talking with a guy yesterday who was very down.  It seems that for the last two years he has gone out and gotten his wife very nice Mother’s Day presents.  He fixed her dinner both years, dinners that she requested, made sure the kids did something nice for her, and made the day about her, even banning the kids from the computer so they could spend time together.  Yet both years, his wife barely thanked him.  She gave him a little kiss, a little hug, and a quick thank you.  She barely smiled, in general showed no emotion, no gratitude.  Both of these gifts where things that she had asked for before, things she wanted and were surprises because it was not what he normally would do.  She should have been delighted, if she was, she did not show it.

His basic question to me was, “Why go through all of this?”  Why spend the extra time, money, and energy when the reaction she gave him was about the same as if he would have picked up some flowers at Walmart and brought home pizza.  I would say, he asks a good question, one that many guys ask, “Why try when it gets me no where?”

I have talked to other guys and it is often the same.  When many guys do something for their wives, they don’t get thanked, but get chided because it was not the same way as if the wife had done it or it was not as good as what her friend’s husband or boyfriend did.  Now I understand that  not doing things like she does can be a big deal sometimes, like washing color clothes in hot water and using bleach on them.  I get that problem.  But what I am talking about is when we clean the kitchen and do everything but forget to wipe the sink clean and wipe off the faucet and then get called on it.  “Give me a break,” is what we will think, “I just saved you an hour of work and that is what I get?  Why bother?”  I had one friend who’s wife complained that in 18 87771951--2272169569658376306years of marriage, he never brought her flowers. (A legitimate complaint IMO!) We pass out flowers one day at a Men’s Bible study, he takes it home and her response, “What did you do wrong that you are bringing me flowers?”  You think he will ever take any home again?

Ladies, I could go on with may examples, but I hope the point has been illustrated.  Here is what you need to do ladies.  When your husband does something nice for you, acknowledge it.  Tell him you really like it.  Act enthusiastically about it.  Don’t just say it once or twice, but remind him that you appreciate it a few times during the day.  And yes, a very physical thank you after you two go to bed would certainly seal the deal, but it does not take that, it DOES take an enthusiastic thank you. 

Bottom line ladies, if you want him to do nice things for you, you need to appreciate him when he does this.  Would it hurt to give him a kiss that curled his toes?  Would it hurt to hug him so hard that he can’t breathe?  It would boost his ego and morale to hear you tell your friends how your hubby did something really nice for you.  You would not believe what a difference it would make in his spirit and his willingness to do it again!

Rock His World and He Will Rock Yours in Return.  Sounds like a Win – Win to me!