How to Initiate Sex even if you are Shy

I know that a lot of women are shy when it comes to initiating sex.  This comes from several things, women have been told good girls don’t initiate sex, it comes from fear of rejection, but whatever the reason, wives should initiate sex some of the time.  Your husband loves it when you do, it makes him feel loved and very, very special.

If you are shy and unsure how to initiate sex here are a few suggestions:

  • Wear some sexy lingerie to bed – I can almost guarantee that this alone will cause the average husband to respond to you.
  • Sensuous kisses are always a good way.  Truly passionate kisses will send pink_lips-t2messages that speak louder than words.  Don’t forget that you can passionately kiss more than just his mouth, throat, neck, ear, chest, nipples, are all spots that will work also. (If you have not found those spots on your husband, time to do some exploring.)
  • One nice thing is while you are hugging or cuddling is to take his hand and place it some place on your body where you both like his hands and he knows you are saying, “I want to go further.”
  • Another possibility is to take his hand and direct him to slow start caressing you, it can be any place that you like, my wife likes me to rub her stomach.  If she starts my hands moving and then does something like caressing me, kissing me, or even just making those little purring like moans she makes, I know what she is thinking.
  • Of course you can always just put your hands someplace on him that you both enjoy your hands being.

Sometimes wives think they are sending a signal to their husband, that they want to make love and are initiating it, but the husband does not get the message (we guys don’t always get the subtle difference between this is “just a cuddle night” and “let’s make love”) and then the wife feels rejected, when in reality he would have been excited to make love. This is why communication with your husband is so important. Talking to him about how you could initiate sex would be a good conversation to have with your husband: This is one conversation that your husband will love having.  It is amazing to me that most women love to talk about every under the sun, except sex and at the same time, that is one conversation that your husband would love to have with you. Here are some things you might discuss with him:

  • Tell him you are shy, but that you still want to initiate love making sometimes.
  • Ask him for some suggestions on ways that you can, as a shy person let him know you want to make love.
  • You could decide on a code or code word that would let him know your intention. Something like, “tigress,” or “baked Alaska” or whatever you feel comfortable saying could send the message you want.
  • One code could be as simple as wearing pearls (I love a woman in pearls) or a special hair clip or anything else you feel comfortable with using as a signal.
  • It could also be something like you lighting candles in your room or turning down the bed – that could be the code.

I am sure that if you talk with your husband, he will be thrilled and will do what he can to help you find a way to make passes at him.  Also, just knowing that you are thinking about it will make him happy and encourage him.

Some other things that you may consider doing:

  • Offer to give him a massage – it is always something that a man will love and will Sex-sin-article-picget him excited at the same time. You may want to check out my Ultimate Massage post if you have not read it.
  • Whisper things in his ear – almost anything will work because almost anything whispered in the ear will sound sexy.
  • Notes & Texts also work nicely; again this is a great place for code words.
  • Going commando and letting him you are going commando is also a good idea. (Nice thing, if you are shy about going commando all day long, don’t go commando until a little bit before bed – let’s you be comfortable all day long and still turns him on.)

The biggest thing is to find something that works for you.  Find something that you are comfortable with and something that sends the signal that you are trying to send.  It does not have to be fancy, it just needs to communicate, “Honey, I would love to make love to you tonight!”  That is a message he will love to hear!!